Under Her Skin

A Letter to Dad

2009-05-29T23:07:00.000-07:00

Father God,

I thank you.

You have blessed me with such an amazingly beautiful life. I have two of the most amazing children one could ever ask for and a man that directs my face and eyes toward glory continuously. My place of business is nothing but an avenue for growth and encouragement, partnered with opportunity to express creativity, vibeing with music... positivity... and laughing with good times... i will truly never have to work again. My church home curves with an artistic swagger as i lean in deeply. i am finally not the only "weird" one in the room... we are all there praising your name with tattooed arms raised enthusiastically. I am just one of the many pieces of the beautiful puzzle we are mastering nicely together... for in this house of worship we are all sky.

i love you.

tee tee

I'm grateful for...

2009-04-25T17:06:00.000-07:00

- God... you are the "Way Maker"... i will always cherish our bond. i am nothing without You.

- all the absolutely amazing women in my life. they have caught me as i've fallen.. it never ceases to amaze me how we have all found each other... God is so, so good.

- the love of my life. James you speak the same language of my soul.

- my intoxicating son Malachi. He keeps me young... and high on life.

- Da Shaniko... i will always marvel in your beauty and your laughter, your kisses and your smile, and how fast you've grown and continue to grow up. It makes me sad and proud all in the same breath. I love you and your power is greater than you know.

- Gateway... God resides here and it is also home to some of the most inviting, inspiring, accepting, loving Christ followers I have EVER met.

- The new house... My son FINALLY can play in the backyard!

_ The art of dressing hair. I will never have to work again. : )

- Photography... beauty set shop behind these pupils

- Poetry... you will always be my muse and I will write until air and these lips are no more.

- every breath.

Better

2009-01-21T10:31:00.000-08:00

Rainy seasons knock out roofs
Even when
Sun streams bake the dry
With no clouds in sight
And no hint of rain for weeks with distant timelines
Looking down mountain sides with tin roofs winking back
Cruelly
Tin roofs that taunt
Giggles
He looks at me the same way he looks at cucumbers growing in front by the hut
Better get a good price for them

Sister Keeper

2008-12-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

At times I’ve wished I could just slit my wrist
Let the childhood memories flow from my veins
Until nothings left but a pool of bloody dreams and tears to hallo my frame
Leave behind the muted colors of pink
Mixed with the intense extremes
Drowning in the depths of a poets thought process
Just wet
And mine being representative to the color red
Similar to fire seeping into alcohol drenched crevices closed for years
Creeping into psychedelic visions while seeking internally for answers to lifetime lies
Tell me,
Do you think a bird with clipped wings can truly teach another to fly?
Fight through death and enter life with a sense of higher skies?
Sista, I’ve been everything I’ve never wanted us to be
Subdued screams leak into dreams while cycles continued to repeat
Morphing childhood giggles into daymares
Not meant to be spoken out loud
Come with me
See this pain waiting to be released into the clouds
Eyes pierce through soft flesh shooting doses of remorse into my soul
While cold shudders rush down a complacent spine
Shackling feet that want to run free
Captive in addiction
Unable to eat
Sadistic thoughts carry a mind dizzy from lack of sleep
While her words still fill the morrow the my bones
Sending thunderous shouts calling me
To come back home
Only eyes with scab shaped coverings cannot see
And I’ve always carried a mind that would rather stand alone
Than to seem weak
Bound to passion with no escape lingering in the breeze
When fingergrips formed in the shape of masculine
Tightly to block the flow of life to lungs
And I know as well as you that bruises hidden behind cotton strips don’t
mean they’re not there
And I thought what you think too
But I caught air through open ears clearly
Listened deep with the light being placed into my eyes so bright
That my soul could hear the sound of song through my tear ducts
Transformed my locks into soldier shaped stances
Trained these hips to sway in the direction of new found dances
And now I walk with the few of unkempt tongues
Uncarried by life in the shoulders of others
Together we stomp beats into the earth
Gyrating sounds of syllables standing tall in stature
Picking chins from concrete trenches while decorating gashes slashed into sanity with the most beautiful butterfly stitches and now baby girl its your turn
Faux faces painted onto canvas pretty never did keep untamed fist baying for long
And I hate to be the one to say so but those victim shaped days
Lay in lazy states
While others see through the thin sheets of gauze
Come
Walk with me in unison to a tone not so long ago forgotten
And when in doubt bind my soul to yours and call it home forever
go beyond the still waters of solitude
And hold your breath tightly while diving deep
Travel through the rough currents while remembering you’ve always known the strokes in which to flow by
I am here
In the murky waters with you even if you can’t see beyond the smudged covered eyelids
And always have been
Wanting to gasp and grab for breath beyond tomorrow
Just like you.

Walk With Me

2008-12-17T10:09:00.000-08:00

I carry words under my tongue
Like razor blades in prison yards
Eyes raised in anticipation
Of answers from my ancestors God
Searching for Divine signs under buried metaphors
And souls that fly predictably by my sky
Engrained into these palms are the abstract eyes of a dreamer
Only precise
And toned by life
And you’ll never forget the first time we met
My voice carries the edgeless energy of honeyed beauty and ancient tongue
Whispering sister to the souls of your feet,
If you’d like you can always walk with me,
One of the few with the feminine fist of tattooed loyalty
Burning to your eyes with a glow of fire from mine
And I can see you clearly
See, I’m looking at a few who on the inside
Finely resemble something like me
It’s not often you’ll find a woman who lives with the capabilities of tasting your dreams
Seeing through the drama of slam team cast and clicks
Past the show bottled posturing and she say she say shit
That attaches itself like thistle burs
To the backs and hem lines of poetry’s skirt
And this is more than just femininity
This is a sister standing in mahogany brown stances
Loyal and Uplifting
And always fighting for wombs soft landings
I am the vertical light on a horizontal horizon
Triggered by synopsis of shield maidens running free
Breaking treating containing words of weakness
Once held in a broken woman’s whispered scream
And I will continue to fight with wide eyes
For unspoken signs
Holding all understanding in syllables strong-minded as well as strong willed
A craftswoman organizing my bones into the multitude of guilds
Wielding pens in the place of swords and words instead of stones
And at the end of it all sitting under an olive tree
Thanking the heavens for my blessings because I am more than just
Wonder Woman, Bionic Woman and all three Charlie’s Angels combined
I am grateful for my gifts
And I keep it moving
Even when the world
Seems to be
Standing still.